\\FAREWELL// My brothers and sisters, we are here this evening to bid farewell to a dear friend, one who has been serving us for the past three years… in our creeks, rivers and communities. That individual is no other than Fr. Edwin.///// Father Edwin, on behalf of the Catholic Community of Mabaruma Settlement, I say farewell. But please let me comment a bit. Father, you have won the hearts of many. I wish to say that for us in this community, you have a special place in our hearts. We have observed your musical ability, your calm, your ever demonstrative posture, and firmness – but always with that smile which gives a message of joy. ///// This gives us courage and the will to go on working the way of Jesus. Fr. Edwin, we have learned so much since you came here. We shall always remember you. We do hope you also have learned from us, your humble people. I do wish you will take the beautiful memories of us, our region and our country to your homeland.///// Father Edwin, we all love you and parting is sad but this is inevitable for we all have to say goodbye sometimes or the other. May our patroness Blessed Kateri Tekawitha make your journey home safe. May God’s blessings keep you well. Fr. Edwin, my friend - Bon Voyage, Vaya con Dios, Farewell.///// \\SEND OFF WORDS// “We will miss your homilies. The way you explain the Word of God is simple but it goes right to our hearts. Sometimes, I don’t want to come to mass, but knowing I will miss your homily, I force myself to come.” –Mr. Henry///// “You have the gift of preaching. You apply the gospel in our ordinary lives and we understand. You have invited many to come back to Church.” – Mrs. Robinson///// “I will never forget how you sung ‘Here I am Lord.’ It still resonates in my heart and how you explained the meaning of the lyrics” – Mrs. Leung///// “I appreciate very much how you visit and take care of our elderly and the sick. We hope that the next priest will also have time for our elderly.” – Mr. Romascindo///// “One of the gifts of Fr. Edwin is his ‘drive for excellence.’ He is not contended with what is there. He will try to improve on whatever he put his hand onto. He will try to make things better.” –Fr. Jaime///// “I will miss Fr. Edwin’s presence on the boat and our camping in the riverain areas. He is willing to sacrifice time and energy to be with the people. “ –Mr. Lynch///// “I will always remember your teaching about life. Life is God’s gift to us and what we do with our life is our gift to God. Thank you for helping us understand many things in our faith. Thank you for helping me, when I was at a lost.” –Mrs. Santiago///// “You will always have a special place in our hearts. I have learned a lot from your homilies. You also have helped me a lot in dealing with life’s questions.” –Mrs. Gomes///// “Thank you for giving your time and your energy to the missions. May you always be generous in your gift of self to wherever you will be assigned.” –Bishop Francis

VJ Kaibigan Ako po si Len asawang inulilang lubos ni Venjo. Anim na taon ng pagiging magkaibigan dahil kay Ginny. Siyam na taon ng pagiging magkasintahan. Dalawang taon ng pagiging mag-asawa. Eksakto ngayong araw na ito isang buwan na mula ng magdiwang kami ng ikalawang anibersaryong kasal mga panahong aming pinagsamahan. ///// Dama kong bawat isa sa atin ay may pagtangi kay Venjo o kaya ay sa kanyang mga minamahal. Sa mga panahon ng aming pagsasama ay tunay na nabuhay kaming ganap ang kasiyahan sa kabila ng aming mga kinakaharap na mahirap pag-daanan. Sadyang madaming nagyayari sa bawat araw. Pero kahit naiiyak kaming dalawa sa hirap, aaliwin ako palagi ni Venjo sa pagsasabing hindi bale masaya at andito pa rin tayo 'di ba? Tuloy ang buhay. ///// Malalim na tao si Venjo. Kahit napakadali siyang makaibigan, mahirap ganap na malaman at maunawaan ang pag-ibig sa kaloob-looban ng kanyang puso. Pinalad ako na nitong huling buwan ng kanyang buhay ay nagawa kong mabatid ang laman ng kanyang puso kahit wala siyang sinasabi, nabigyan namin ito ng pangalan sa aming huling usapan ng gabing bago siya pumanaw nasabi at naipahayag niya lahat- lahat. ///// Kahit may problema hindi nawawala ang pagpapatawa kay Venjo. Pareho kami na madalas natatawa at nakakatapo ng dahilan upang tumawa. Maraming malulutong na halakhak ang pinagsaluhan kasama lalo na ang mga San Beda boys at si Atoy nitong mga huling sandali ng aming buhay. Ang isang madalas na biro niya sa akin ay ang magkunwaring masakit and dibdib niya at di siya makahinga. Siyempre natataranta ako 'pag malapit na ako umiyak sa takot bigla siyang tatawa ng malakas at sasabihin "Hon, practice lang para pag totoong namatay ako ay sanay ka na." Sabi ko sa kanya, pag totoong namatay ka dahil lagi mo akong niloloko hindi na ako maniniwala. Kaya hanggang ngayon hinihintay kong sabihin niya na practice lang lahat ito. Biro lang. ///// Bago kami ikasal alam ko na may sakit siya at maaring konti lang ang panahon na aming ipagsasama. Pero sa araw ng aming kasal ay nasulat sa Phil. Star na ayon daw sa Hindu tradition napaka swerte ng araw na iyon kayat lahat ng ikakasal sa araw na ito ay magsasama ng 7 lifetimes. Ang patawa nga dito ni Venjo kawawa naman daw siya pitong habang buhay and kanyang sentensya na isang babae lang ang kasama. Paano naman daw yung ibang magaganda na makikita niya? Dalawang taon lang kaming nagsama bilang mag- asawa pero masasabi ko na ang saya, pagmamahalan at pagkakaibigan na pinagsaluhan naming ay katumbas ng saya na madadanas sa pitong lifetime. ///// Walang pinipiling tao si Venjo. Malapit siya lao na sa mga karaniwang tao. Mahal na mahal niya si Nato (yon nga unang gusto niyang pakasalan at makasama kung magunaw ang mundo). Sila Marlyn, Dadyn, Rolly, Ningning, Doreng, Edoy, Rey, Berto, Kula, Totong, Dante at lahat-lahat ng nagsilbi sa kanya. Pati na 'yung Chef ng Shanghai Bistro na nagluluto ng paborito nyang pansit. Na hindi naming pareho alam ang pangalan. ///// Maraming kahinaan at pagkukulang si Venjo. Pero sa kanyang sariling paraan ay nakakapagpuno siya at nakabawi. Kaya nga kung may hinihingi yan ang hirap tanggihan dahil sa kanyang kakaibang charisma. ///// Isa sa magandang ugali na natutuhan ko kay Venjo ay ang palaging sabihin ang salamat po. Malaki o maliit man na kabutihan paulit-ulit niyang pasasalamatan. Lagi bago kami matulog sasabihin niya ang "Salamat ha." Kaya nga po gusto ko sabihin sa inyong lahat ang pasasalamat namin sa inyong pagiging narito at sa lahat ng kabutihang inyong pinadarama ngayong napakalungkot ng aming pamilya. Gusto ko rin sabihin kay Venjo na "Salamat pards!" ///// Masakit at mahirap man ang aking pinagdaanan ngayon pero kahit ilang milyong beses handa kong paulit-ulit na danasin basta ikaw, Venjo, and aking makakapiling.

Recently I heard an interview on the radio with an American journalist who had just returned to the USA after living for nearly twelve years in Paris. While living there, his son was born. That child, now nearly ten, had been raised outside of popular culture. His parents, both literary types, didn’t own a television set, listened to classical rather than popular music, weren’t attuned to the sports scene, and their interests and spirits didn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of the celebrity of the day. //// And so when they returned to the USA, their son was very much the outsider to pop culture, unfamiliar with the latest pop stars, game shows, and the like. As his dad was explaining all of this, the interviewer asked him: “Has your son held out against American culture?” ///// The journalist’s answer: “For about two days! Of course, he didn’t hold out, nobody does! Western pop culture, for good and for bad, is the most powerful narcotic that has ever been perpetrated on this planet! Nobody holds out against it.” ///// Our culture is a powerful narcotic, for good and for bad. ///// It is important that we first underline that, partly, there’s a good side to this. A narcotic soothes and protects against brute, raw pain. Our culture has within it every kind of thing (from medicine to entertainment) to shield us from pain. That can be good, providing it isn’t a false crutch. ///// But a narcotic can also be bad, especially when it becomes a way of escaping from reality. Where our culture is particularly dangerous, I feel, is in the way it can perpetually shield us from having to face the deeper issues of life - faith, forgiveness, morality, and mortality. It can, as Jan Walgrave famously said, constitute a virtual conspiracy against the interior life. How? ////// By keeping us so entertained, so busy, so preoccupied, and so distracted that we lose all focus on the deeper things. We live now in a world of instant and constant communication, of mobile phones and email, of ipods that contain whole libraries of music, of television packages that contain hundreds of channels, of malls and stores that are open 24 hours a day, of restaurants and clubs that stay open all the time, of sounds that never die and lights that never go out. We can be amused, distracted, and catered to for 24 hours a day. ///// While that has made our lives wonderfully efficient it has also conspired against depth. The danger, as one commentator puts it, is that we are all developing permanent attention deficient disorder. We are attentive to so many things that, ultimately, we aren’t attentive to anything, particularly to what is deepest inside of us. ////// This isn’t an abstract thing! Typically our day is so full of things (work, noise, pressure, rush) that when we do finally get home at night and have some time when we could shut down all the stimulation, we are so tired and fatigued that what soothes us is precisely something that functions as a narcotic - a sporting event, a game show on television, a mindless sitcom, or anything that can soothe our tensions and relax us enough to sleep. It’s not bad if we do this on a given night, but it is bad when we do it every night. ///// What happens then is that we never find the space in our lives to touch what’s deepest inside of us and inside of others. Given the power of our culture, we can go along like this for years until something cracks in our lives, a loved one dies, someone breaks our heart, the doctor tells us we have a terminal disease, or some other crisis is powerful enough to suddenly render all the stimulation and entertainment in the world empty. Then we are forced to look into our own depth and that can be a frightening abyss, if we have spend years and years avoiding looking into it. ///// The poet, Rumi, once wrote: “I have lived too long where I can be reached!” That’s true, I suspect, for most of us. And so we end up as good people, but as people who are not very deep - not bad, just busy; not immoral, just distracted; not lacking in soul, just preoccupied; not disdaining depth, just lacking in practice. ///// Our culture is a powerful narcotic, for good and for bad. It has the power to shield us from pain, to soothe us in healthy ways. That can be good. Sometimes we need a narcotic. But our culture can also be over-intoxicating, too-absorbing It can swallow us whole. And so we have to know when it is time to unplug the television, turn off the phone, shut down the computer, silence the ipod, lay away the sports page, and resist going out for coffee with a friend, so that, for one moment at least, we are not avoiding making friends with that one part of us that will accompany us into the sunset. //// Thanks, Fr Ron! -edbe

In many of her novels, Anita Brookner, almost as a signature to her work, will make this comment: The first task of a couple in marriage is to console each other for the fact that they cannot not disappoint each other. That’s an important insight. Why? ///// When we are young and hear sadness in love songs, we think that the sadness and disappointment are a prelude to the experience of love. Later we come to realize that the sadness and disappointment ultimately originate not from the fact that love has not taken place, but from the finite, limited character of human love itself. Brookner has it right: The first task in any love is for us to console each other for the limits of our love, for the fact that we cannot not disappoint each other.///// Why? Why can’t two persons ever be enough for each other? Why is disappointment part of the experience of every relationship, friendship, and marriage? ///// Because the very way that we are made precludes ever having, in this life, a oneness of mind, heart, and body that fulfills us in such a way that there is no disappointment. Our longing is simply too wide. We long for the infinite and are built for it and so we wake to life and consciousness with longings as deep as a Grand Canyon without a bottom. ///// In this life then, outside of rare and very transitory mystical experiences, there is no consummation (sexual, emotional, psychological, or even spiritual) with another person that is so deep and all-embracing so as exclude all distance, shadow, and emptiness. No matter how deep a friendship or a marriage and no matter how good, rich in personality, and deep the other person may be, we always find ourselves somewhat disappointed. In this life, there is no union that fills every emptiness inside of us. Somewhere, we always sleep alone. ///// In essence, there is no union which fulfills perfectly the Genesis prescription that “two become one flesh.” No matter how close a marriage or a friendship, two can never ultimately become one. ///// No matter how deep a union, we always remain separate, two persons who cannot really ever, in this life, make just one heart, one mind, and one body. No love or friendship ever fully takes away our separateness. Sometimes sexual electricity or emotional or spiritual affinity can promise such a oneness. But, in the end, it cannot fully deliver it. No matter how deep and powerful a union, ultimately, we remain, and need to remain, captains of our own hearts, minds, and bodies.///// This needs to be recognized, not just to help us deal with the disappointment, but especially so that we do not violate each other. What’s implied here? ///// In this life we are always, to some degree, in exile from each other. We stand alone in some way. Where we feel this most deeply is not in our sexual isolation, but in our moral separateness. What we crave even more deeply than sexual unity is moral affinity, to be truly one heart with another. More than we desire a lover, we desire a kindred spirit, a soul mate. If this is true, then the deepest violations of each other are also not sexual but moral. It’s when we try to be captain of somebody else’s soul (more so even than of his or her body) that we rape someone. And it is our failure to accept that we will always be somehow separate from each other that creates the pressure inside of us to unhealthily try to be captain of someone else’s soul. We violate another’s separateness precisely because we cannot accept the disappointment of love. ///// Finally, beyond even this, we cannot not be disappointed in love because, in the end, we are all, in some way, limited, inadequate, blemished, dull, and boring. None of us is God. No matter how rich our personalities or attractive our bodies, none of us can indefinitely excite and generate novelty, sexual electricity, and emotional pleasure, within a relationship. A relationship is like a long trip and, as Dan Berrigan puts it, “there’s bound to be some long dull stretches. Don’t travel with someone who expects you to be exciting all the time!” ///// What’s the lesson in this? Stoicism and cynicism about love and romance? To the contrary: ///// The recognition that, in love, we cannot not disappoint each other is what makes it possible for us to remain inside of marriage, friendship, celibacy, and respect. It’s when we demand not to be disappointed that we grow angry, make unrealistic demands, and put pressure on each other’s moral and sexual integrity. Conversely, when we recognize the limits of love, when we accept an inevitable separateness, moral loneliness, and disappointment, we can begin to console each other in our friendships and our marriages. In that consolation, since it touches so deeply the core of our souls, we can, in fact, begin to find the threads that can bind us into a oneness of heart beyond disappointment. -19sept2007

Year 2001: In one quite disturbing but popular Pop Cola commercial because of very young talents used, a very young girl in her early teens while texting on her cellphone asked her lover: BAT MO KO LOVE? I would like to adapt the three responses of the young boy as my way of responding to God in my 22nd year. I also would like to see some application of this on the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart.//// 1. KASI ANG MGA MATA MO AY KASING NINGNING NG MGA BITUIN SA LANGIT: God’s eyes are so bright! He sees through me. God has been a very dependable lover. He has given so much and He has proven to me that he cannot be outdone in His generosity. He did not fail me, never. Just trust Him. He who has given the moon and the stars will never fail. He has loved me first, and I am only responding to love. Luma na ito: pero ito ang totoo! With his bright eyes, he looks at me: ever forgiving, ever-understanding. He is a very passionate lover…///// The heart is burning with fire in love. I remember what is written in one of my worn-out poster, “Those who want to shed light must endure burning!” I am always challenged to shed light amidst the burning. The burning is necessary. I cannot shed light if I will not shed myself. The fire consumes… only the light comes out for others to share upon. The self goes to allow the light to shine. The priest must always be on fire in love. His love must be passionate. May apoy, nagliliyab, nagaalab. While on fire, he must not loose heart. The fire must be a loving fire. ///// 2. YOU COMPLETE ME!: This is the celibacy component of the priesthood. It was said that celibacy is not a condition for the priesthood, it is the incarnation of the priesthood. It is where the priesthood is born and maybe known in flesh and blood. It is every priest’s declaration or proclamation that God is his enough, that God completes him. No other woman or anybody else could take his place. In the words of Teresa, Dios solo basta! Only God suffices . . . He is complete even in the hurt and in the pain of loving.///// The crown of thorns causes the heart to bleed. A bleeding heart continues to love. “Forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” The sacrifice component in loving makes loving more Christ-like. Sacrifice is the crown that renders love to be enduring and true. Sacrifice completes love. It is commonplace when we experience joy in mutual love. Christian love transcends this: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hurt you, pray for those who persecute you.” This love remains amidst blood-letting. It never gives up. It stays and shines… amidst the pain, the hurt: ///// “Kahit ilang tinik ay kaya kong tapakan, Kung ‘yan ang paraan upang landas mo’y masundan. Kahit ilang ulit ako’y iyong saktan… Hindi kita maaring iwanan!” ///// 3. KASI TAYONG DALAWA, ALWAYS TAMA ANG TIMPLA! It was only when the boy borrowed this from the rear of the Pop Cola delivery truck that the young girl accepted the boy’s satisfactory answer. 22 years of partnership, of teamwork, of finding the right mix. Sometimes, just right – sometimes malabnaw. As I look back God and I created many beautiful music together. The mix and remix of this beautiful music gives me inspiration to go on. The right mix is the spirituality of the diocesan priest. What ingredients will I need for the ministry? How can I be a simple reminder of Christ on earth? One ingredient that may not be taken away is the Cross.///// The cross hails on top of the heart. The heart carries the cross. This is discipleship. After denying and forgetting of self comes the daily cross-bearing. Our responsibilities as priests can never take a leave of absence. It is 24-hour service. As I look back, my heart became principled because of the crosses I have learned to carry. This is commitment. Priesthood becomes meaningful and truthful only in the cross. There is no other way that priesthood can find its meaning outside the cross. Because at the heart of the cross, priesthood finds its Master.///// There are 22 years because GOD, LOVE MO KO TALAGA! Sana lahat ng Love natin tulad ng sa Sacred Heart! Malapit sana tayo sa puso niya at sa puso ng isa’t-isa! ///// (Preparing a homily for the Sacred Heart I found this in my old files.. my 16th year homily but still holds true!)